Dispicable Me 2

It was not so long ago that a new crown would be placed upon another head at the Darby & Joan club in Weasley Bottom constituency. Once long bottom recently told me that his mother was backing him to be elected and after considerable tea parties that received weak brews decided to venture out and form his own assembly. I found this very strange to digest. Here is a party that his bigger than your average skyscraper that anyone would dream about holding and he gives it up. There was no running for the position for a prince verses a porper, it would not make sense to the Mother. So why tell the story? Teacher said he would never amount to anything and was a compulsive liar. Perhaps this could explain things or was the little boy still in the playground trying to impress to gain a friend. His 2nd story out our coffee cup meet was well worth several hundred million. Fantasy Island holidays each year are a get away from reality.



It has been some time since my last post and I have only now managed to squeeze some time out to scribble what has been rattling around in my head for the past several weeks. With Ironman 3 out, it reminded me of the comeback kid with his 3 movies of life and work in CEE. It is always hard work to analyze your new army and promote, capture and push while finding the disloyal or spy within the camp. Perhaps waiting till November witches night for a dunking of 5 minutes is to far away for a clouded evaluation. Summer apple dunking could offer an option while all backs are turned and hands are secure giving time to open the trap door and a quite vanishing act.

Charlene Tilton has made an interesting move and one wonders if looking in the rear view mirror is something that only the hearty do. Time will tell and give proof rather than the wishes from some folk. Tiltons left and right flankers are strong individuals in an area that now could be unusual and deep in thinker water than they realize. Always reminds me of the term, “Who is the fool, the fool or he who follows the fool”.

Iron-Man-3-HD-Wallpapers-Gallery-18I recently heard some interesting news about an offer that was a smoke screen to represent and profile in a way to attracts other and the hope of attracting income. Being creative in order to gain an edge in a tough market deserves some recognition, however when the individual is a back-to-front, nothing is deserving and a facial meeting with tarmac will always make me smile. As the war on share and survival continues, I can only grow with a better spin and market that is already connected.

Till next time, happy public holidays, which ever day or country you are in this week.



The Call


We are almost ready to release our CIJ Reader for the Android, which will give many android smartphone users access to our daily news feed from around CEE. Opening up another direct audience with news and information about the real estate market is an important factor to its growth and transparency, so why do some PR companies avoid taking the plunge? The normal format PR agencies use to represent the client are the same systems used for the past 20 years. If it works then why to change you may ask. Depending on the over all evaluation and feedback of its route to market absorption we are unable to give a true value. Ask yourself, did you see any report from your PR company that gives understanding in the format of these 6 rules: separate, follow, survey, compare, ask  and count. Most likely not, and do you see the changes in the PR machine in the past 5 years with an ever changing market place? Probably not, so it is high time you took an interest in developing your PR skills in one of the cheapest areas of marketing there is? Lets hope you said, probably yes!

The_Call_European_Banner_2_28_13-726x248Ever week I come across individuals that present themselves as leaders in the PR business who charge a hefty fee for you to have access to their wealth of knowledge and market share that will lift your business higher than any other format for the past two decades. Guess what, they just did a PR number on you. It is a very mixed market on this front with who is doing a good job or not. For example, last week I exposed such a company that was using its clients knowledge and insider information to benefit its other more profitable clients. Wow, insider trading in the PR business and it goes unnoticed. Another situation I came across was several PR issuers sending the same release from the same client, let me put this situation another way, imagine you are in a single brand store and several staff members approach you with the same product, it creates many negative feelings from the buyer. Like most industries, monitoring everything is costly and timely, so we try to understand what we can to make the right choices. Being at the daily forefront of push and pull material received from 100s of issuers gives much insight. Has the issuer done a PR job one you and kidnapped your business into the black hole of missing exposure. Don’t flatline your growth prospects, start asking questions and speak to the recipients for a reference on what they digest.

Wikipedia: The aim of public relations by a company often is to persuade the public, investors, partners, employees, and other stakeholders to maintain a certain point of view about it, its leadership, products, or of political decisions.


Seven Psychopaths

It wasn’t so long ago we where all held to ransom over a puppy and the seven psychopaths thought they could change the market by grouping a consortium together that endeavored to create harmony in their back packet in an otherwise dry desert. Only a few refused to changed their ways and stand clear of the suggestions the seven P’s expected. Now that the new ocean has covered the landscape Roger Rabbit has gone home and only Trixy is left with one foot in the past and the other dangling over a black hole.

I recently read two market reports on a sector that estimated totals that was a million apart. I know I havSeven Psychopathse been of the mark on a few odd occasions, but never by a mil. I wonder if we will get an honest exact figure next week when we talk about it again. For sure we will discuss the error in the April issue of CIJ and do a survey on who took which advise. The three amigo’s didn’t see the mistake other than heard something in the pub over a beer. If you watch carefully someone will always position themselves in the middle.

Tricky Richy dropped a bomb last week that left an awful small for a few days after. With a few years of a hole in the head, Ricky’s planned development is not going to read its fee and will stop from up and become a parking lot. The struggle with be tip top and Bonkers will put up a good fight. We shall see it the past evaluation is just a smoke screen and a twist in the tale of the missing tenant.

Next stop after the summer will see the future build in the year 2050 from all sector prospective, three dimensional, artists impression with an archs review in editorial. The project was launched this month. Which makes me think of the next 10 years, nothing to talk about other than flatliners. I am sure you have all seen the film and don’t want to see it again. Polling tells us so, he, he, he.



The Hobbit

The quest to reclaim a lost kingdom is not so far from CEE and its present dilemmas. Even the dragon can be recognized in the story line. What is to be reclaimed and what responsibilities are there? We can make comparisons and suggestions on what is the now cause of problems and even point the finger at a few faces as the culprits, but this will not change the fact of the next few years. If we look at what brought us to this stage of drop and then look at who are leading the way out, then we must see this is rather bazaar. We followed them in to the valley of death and we still want to continue into the jaws of evil. Are we insane, have we learned nothing? Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on ??? The commands are starting to wobble and departures have begun and the inbetweeners are moving forward to hold on, but remain standing still. A complete overhaul is needed and boots need to be The-Hobbit_01kicked into the gas rollers of society. What a mess and shambles, well done the runners, at leased your record is in tacked. Looking on a brighter side the bust and boom, it sure did support someone twice. I have a rather large egg and when its opened at Easter, the golden Pheneox will carry your pants further than your bottom will carry you and sheet on your noggins. Its time a real man drove the car and not a merger of 2 agencies. The merger will create lots of talk as usual and then the clearing starts and we see unemployment rise. If you find yourself in this position then call me as I have a few connections that have started something that needs finishing, unless you wanted to start reading The Hobbit and take some time off! Knight takes Pawn Boy. (830)

A Good Day to Die Hard

Yipee Ki-Yay… – Words came out of my mouth the same as John McClane when he was feeling pleased about a situation of recovery. I will not go into detail, however, I am sure a few of you will understand.

Some time ago I explained a marketing idea that was implemented into the West End of London in order to rent office space with the bonus gift of John Lewis vouchers, well, the promotion seems to have worked very well. The expected viewing was 80 with more than 160 materializing, more than double what was anticipated. As of today, HOT’s were signed approximately on several thousand square feet with a number of negotiations still on going. Reminds me a little of the early 90′s in Prague when a CIJ t-shirt was enough to turn the head on a speeding ticket. If it works, let if fly.GOOD-DAY-TO-DIE-HARD

Another interesting situation emerged last week while in London from a fund inquiring about an investment in Nigeria. The situation is an existing company who has over several hundred diesel generators powering base units around the country. The locals see the value in fuel and are pilfering the drums after every tanker visit. A subcontractor has come up with a solution in which to fit solar power panels with a freight box securing the electronics and the panels high above on a pole . Solar panels are valuable and unfortunately the more unscrupulous in our society are realizing that too. Around the world there’s been a marked increase in the theft of solar panels, with people losing up to tens of thousands of euro’s worth of equipment in single incidents. So you must ask the question, is solar cheaper than diesel.

Ritchie Rich was out and about last week in Warsaw talking of cuts in the large corporations and how this year will see upper middle management taking the ropes of the company to further improve the books. Even with some growth in Poland and spending open a little more, margins are what we shall see growing this year compared to last years business. If the weight is not worth much, then watch out for lost baggage on the flights home.

Finally, watch out for March as we have lots of new releases and improvements happening at CIJ magazine, so stay focused and don’t look over your shoulder so much.


Silver Linings Playbook

January has been long, short, quick and slow month, with a lot of hope for a successful year to come. Even with uncertainty in the air and double dip reports. The year will not have a silver lining, however the playbook looks reasonable. With visits to London Warsaw, Prague and Bucharest, business is developing and expectations from my side look better than before.

During 2013 I have made it my mission to see how companies are attracting clients and who are the audience. Last week I was in London and one interesting observation in the West End was an office viewing day and the exit comp gift was a voucher for John Lewis of 25GBP. Who was the target audience and are the conditions for tenant signing even more lucrative than a JL ticket. By the looks of the visiting parties, the target was small business and small plan spaces in the area. With such a concentrated area of options, the agent was able to run several office locations for a half day showcase, each location with a young junior representative to answer most questions and interests. Planning was the key to organization, almost like a city tour, but rather an office West End tour. Success rate unknown at this moment, however organizing over 2000 m2 of space with a walking tour view was a great way of speed dating for potential tenant business.

Away from the West End and back to a city in CEE, one finds life doesn’t always go according to plan as my recent meeting with a development individual expressed. Entity A has lost everything, stature in the community, his job, and his girlfriend. Entity A SLPis determined to rebuild his life, remain positive and reunite with his ex., despite the challenging circumstances of his firing. When Entity A meets Entity Y, a mysterious company with problems of its own, things go a little pair shaped. Entity Y offers to help Entity A reconnect with his past social standing, but only if he’ll do something very important for his company in return. Remind you of anyone or the story line fits something? This year will for sure produce a rise for Entity A and the company, but will the past be regained, we shall see.

A few rumors have surfaced about a possible purchase of a large logistics portfolio and company that would elevate its present standing in the market perhaps up by one notch on the top 10 leaders in CEE. With a financial coffer of money this notch could even do more in an unsure 2013 market. With activities in enough locations the platform needs no design. Good luck and lets keep the financials coming.

At the same time, pastures under developed are developing with approximately 50k of office space over the next few years. The deal in a secondary city is going to see great success due to its demand, under supply and quality of business that have entered the area.
The two companies involved in the JV are experienced at both ends of the market and have potentially created a perfect partnership away from the 3rd party approach.

I have an interesting issue for my next blog that needs legal help before blogging due to past direct threats. Check back soon for updates. Until then enjoy the winter holidays. (1423)

Les Misérables

Les Misérables

Welcome to the New Year and all the success for the next 12 months. I would also like to wish the Miserable One a boost of joy and to break a smile for once in the past 5 years. The Miserable One has been around for several years and is a regular around the real estate market. His fortunes where made long ago and his greatness was diminished from the towering figure he once possessed. If you come under the discussion of a fascinating story of the good times with adventure, riches vast and lands plenty for development, you could well be talking with the Miserable One that is recalling his past while not breaking a smile. Ask him who was his Inspector Javert in those days and if his Javert would hold him in contempt for years for his own lack of prosperity. I would be surprised if he can name one as such. On questioning him about the past 5 years, what will he tell you? Running on empty, firing of the group, drip drop currency or just plain 50p in a broom cupboard. Either of these will remind you of your own situation and landscape. Now ask him who his Javert is today and he will start snarling and spitting some names, followed by stories that will make your hairs stand on end. Don’t be amazed if they live next door to you and share the same stool at the bar on a cold night as it is just life. The Miserable One is a very interesting individual and always entertaining enough with his profiles of business professional around us. If you can, give him your best shot with a joke and see if you can change his expression and break the 5 year record of his sad expression.

With that I will leave you with the requirements for a great story from the man himself in his own words.

…the reader has before him at this moment is, from one end to the other, in its entirety and details … a progress from evil to good, from injustice to justice, from falsehood to truth, from night to day, from appetite to conscience, from corruption to life; from bestiality to duty, from hell to heaven, from nothingness to God. The starting point: matter, destination: the soul. The hydra at the beginning, the angel at the end... Victor Hugo (745)

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I am almost at the end of 2012 and have been contemplating the past 12 months in what was it all about and how well it all fitted together. With an ever changing landscape that has unpredictable scenes with business method or management direction, 2013 will be for sure be the same as 2012, we are still not on steady ground to present a two finger gesture to stop the mechanics of every day. Which brings me to a movie that has pretty much the same story line we are experiencing in CEE. I thought that change in the names may make it a little more clear in seeing the truth in how it fits gollum_510x317our lives today, yesterday and the day before. I do hope I am able to present these truths next year in editorial format that will open our likes to dislike and help use all eat more healthier for a better business practice that would produce realistic communication between people that wish to build.

Bilbay Boggins is swept into a quest to claim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erbit from the fearsome aged dragon Smug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gidyaunt the Growbag, Bilbay finds himself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Orin Batten. Their journey will takes them into the Wild of Central Europe; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wags and Giant Spies.

Shapeshifters and Sorcerers put path halts on every road in the hope Bilbay will turn back or join ranks. Although their goal lies to the East and the wastelands of the Dosh Mountain, first they must escape brothers delusional tunnels, where Bilbay meets the creature that will change his life forever … Goglyum. Here, alone with Goglyum, on the shores of an underground spate, the unassuming Bilbay Boggins not only discovers depths of guile and courage that surprise even him, he also gains possession of Goglyum’s “precious” sting that holds unexpected and useful qualities … A simple, bold sting that is tied to the fate of all Middle-burp in ways Bilbay cannot begin to know.

Bilbay Boggins: Why don’t we have a game of riddles and if I win, you show me the way out of here?
Goglyum: And if he loses? What then? Well if he loses precious then we eats him! If Bailbay loses we eats him whole!
Bilbay Boggins: Fair enough.

Quote: Who is the fool, the fool or he who follows the fool?

Lets not pay, lets make 2013 a group partnership that will help each other to succeed without swallowing “This is it, I need to follow the tail”.

Happy Christmas and all the best for the New Year. (726)

An Egg and Buckaroo Fairy tale

This week I’m in Bucharest for the CIJ Romanian Awards and during my usual meetings, lunches and dinners, I heard a story from a local MD that I thought I’d retell in my own way, and in the spirit of the season. Enjoy.

A long long time ago, in a far away land were two kingdoms, the Kingdom of Egghead and the Kingdom of Buckaroo. In the Kingdom Egghead lived Prince Farkward whose people were number one in marketing and trade that made the kingdom very successful and everyone was happy with regular pats on the back. On the other side of the river was the Kingdom of Buckaroo, whose leader Prince Charming did many bad deeds that brought him great success and riches. This created happiness for many years, with much boasting of self-love.

Then one day the success and wealth disappeared due to the golden dragons becoming extinct. This left the Egghead and Buckaroo Kingdoms in disarray and confusion over how to understand there own identity. After great thought the Eggheads realized they wanted to be respected and successful as they had before, so they decided to freeze time and make the rest of the Kingdoms believe it. As for the Buckaroos, they were not content to be seen as Buckaroos. Instead, they had always secretly desired to be just like the Eggheads and to be perceived as the Eggheads.

For the first time in their history, after lengthy communications with each other, they came to an agreement of supporting each others’ fantasies and dreams. As long as they each addressed one another as they wished to look, they believed they could trick the other Kingdoms into believing the charade. This would then bring the good times back to the way they once were. But though the Kingdoms’ illusions were strong, their self-delusion transformed their Kingdoms into shanty towns with all the buildings painted red.

The End


The Master

After another week in the Metropolis of money and the financials of power, its amazing to see the amount of funding constantly reproducing in large amounts in order for it to be then disposed into purchases of projects and property. The difficult part of all this is writing about it without jumping the gun and sending the trust to ground. The most obvious way to help and nurture this information is to present it direct by either an introduction or a presentation. It could even take the form of an application that would be direct from the source with an means to an end. Interesting idea, would it work, would it cause unemployment or just another niche producing a small stream from the big river. It would then graduate to an even larger pool of individuals swimming with the stream in the direction of a placement in medal category. In all it would represent the HR industry in a new light that would mix contract, tender, budgets and availability into a new era. Sound like a cult? Could be, however the benefits are channeled directly to all in the group making it an unusual capitalistic tree. Would a mix of such really work and how many heads would it require or will it have a Master. Trial and error will test its possibilities if it were ever to happen.

A rather large investment fund approach me recently looking to sell some assets in the UK and US with an option of being interested in Poland with is funds. With over a billion GBP in assets, one would think they did not need me to point things out. On the contrary, the fund has its experts and advisers, however they are only presenting the poor investment opportunities, making the scouts time come for retirement. The industry is every day changing and just like the record industry, they are unable to reinvent themselves in this near era of requirement. Anyway, if you are interested in the UK or US for acquisitions, call me.

I recently was given the opportunity of remembering freedom of the press after being told to suppress the truth and shut my beak. Here it is if you have also forgotten.

Freedom of the press or freedom of the media is the freedom of communication and expression through mediums including various electronic media and published materials. While such freedom mostly implies the absence of interference from an overreaching state, its preservation may be sought through constitutional or other legal protections.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states: “Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference, and impart information and ideas through any media regardless of frontiers”



I recently discovered a clue to the origins of fortune in Poland, leading me on a journey to the darkest corners of the real estate industry. There, I see a terrifying battle to save the future of profits. The Prometheus plot has the same issues as our real estate market and just as interesting as the 2 hour film.

If we look at the CEE & SEE markets from a winning prospective, none of the minions are able to pull of more than a 2 market lead. Which brings me to Jeff and Judas who will both be leaving their posts soon and neither have a new skipper that will be received as adequate. The new landscape with show changes in dominance and the tables will turn. A market analyst, Danno, spoke these very thoughts only last week to me and expected his influence to rise higher than before from the European markets. As sectors dry up, it is easy to see his point. The minions will further consolidate as they fight the future of existence according to Danno. He also reported the small niggling Judas would organize to make small tremors at events.

One unexpected attack that seems to be unplanned for is the evolution of the Internet and all those that were terminated. They have all learned how to survive and feed themselves over the past 5 years. It will be these solo artists that have and will continue to dilute the options of developers, however, if they were ever to unite, this would have devastating effects on the record industry and independence will the the new global enterprise. Bewared, you heard it here first.

I was at a well known refreshment establishment last week, I got talking to an individual that was out of the ordinary. He expressed he was in the laundry service and was helping a Baguette corporation purify and repatriate its profits. Product came in on pallets and took the best part of 12 months to raise as returns and further more, the coffer deployment was not as good as anticipated with a possible burn notice being issued. Next time your enjoying crepes suzette downtown, remind yourself it could of been diluted with Unione Corse candy.

Last week I looked at the productivity numbers for www.encompassme.com and was amazed how over 160,000 article reads had exploded since March launch. The surprising part of the readership survey numbers was that the UK and US are in the Top 10 by country. We are now in the next stage of its development and anticipate this number to double by the end of 2013. With a big requirement of words demanded by the market as marketing, encompassme will turn a corner stone soon that will wake up a stagnated uninventive real estate PR industry.

Till next time, keep warm and stay out of trouble.



Hotel Transylvania

A week each month in London is definitely going to create some exiting news and opportunities. However, the pace was double my normal working week and left me exhausted by Friday. An early Saturday morning 7am flight did not help the recovery, nor did the morning swim class for my daughter. Not to grumble though, as interest in CEE in London is big and with a combination of CIJ and my own connections made for two property deals which possible buyers and sellers got introduced. If this will continue each month, I will be sure to be spending two weeks in London a month. We also launched Property of the Month in the October issue with great success. The idea being to present product from CEE to prospective buyers and end-users at a comfortable price, which includes direct marketing, PR and presentation with an aim to get it in front of the right people. Through our network of offices around CEE and now London we are able to offer great solutions to our clients.

Moving on to the back streets of London, talk of new fund capital formation echoed at each meeting, with an eye on Poland and the Czech Republic, however back in Warsaw and Prague the talk was about how no funds can raise money so sales will be slow. For sure, we will see some fast sales this Q and am sure they will be done off-market away from hotel Transylvania occupants, and not doubt this will create some stomach upsets.

I recently joined a friend’s private club in the City of London in order to gain access to the club’s clients and to hold private meetings. One meeting I had in particular with Frances Drake, which was most interesting due to the fact this individual was dissatisfied with the boss and was looking to jump ship. Drake has already been offered passage on two vessels, but what was funny was how she referred to her skipper as “a big fish in a small pond”.

Indiana Jones spoke of the purchase of a project just over the hills from Brno and will help with a new portfolio of presence. What he is looking for ideally are projects with a value between 20 and 30 mill. An easy task of presentation will give him many options each month. I wonder if his partner understands who he is stood next to in the grand signings.

I had a non-eventful meeting with Harold & McMillan midweek and was surprised how knowledgeable they are about their business, they new nothing of the ins and outs, only understood the phrase ‘the more the merrier’, which was their logic. Someone must be busy working to support these rug-rats within the company. Departing comment “If you come up with any ideas, let us know”. Translated into layman’s terms, help us tick a single question box.

With the arrival of several new companies across CEE this month, I am leaving you a quote from Hotel Transylvania. Dracula: It’s ok we all get stomachaches Mr Big Foot. (1763)

Resident Evil

CEDEM conference took place last week and was up on the previous year’s numbers. The biggest attendance was from banks, funds, private equity and developers. Service providers stayed away, with only a handful reaping the networking field. The atmosphere was calm and the discussions medium to warm with a hint of hot. CEDEM was laced with breaks, more than last year and networking produced some interesting possibilities that are either fictional or reality in their spoken words.

Pitches and presentations were made, with some as entertaining as the Morecambe & Wise show. Banter could be overheard around CEDEM that made me chuckle.

The Pointy Man made his introduction as a rep with several projects ready for sale and stated that the past 2 years have prepared him for this moment. However, the price tag for the projects are low for the player. Perhaps he should get his boss to do “Property of the Month” and see if London picks up on it. Watch out for the new style of advertising in CIJ October issue. Time to get with the program.

The Turnips didn’t show for the duration of the event, assuming the fact is because, for the next 3 years nothing will be built and the new MD is a recluse, wonder if that was a requirement when filling the position. If you have nothing showing for so long, shouldn’t you be networking. The old was replaced with the new because of this, so what are you waiting for. Which also reminds me of IKK who also remained away, an insider from the company told me Jack sent a memo round giving specific instructions for all not to attend, due to his private titillation of productivity for the future of the well being of mankind, WOTEVE, which made me think of the title Resident Evil and the Umbrella Company. Nothing was said about the absentees, I guess the focus was on business and not pettiness as neither one was missed. I just wonder how their clients feel about being represented in such a fashion. Last year a large fund told me they would sponsor anything that proved how arrogant they are, must pop in and see him soon.  Anyway, all had time to talk to the competition in their absence, for sure a good way to lose business and an imminent downfall in already troubled waters. I will tell you about their double dealing next post, I still need to cross reference the finer details of the scandal.

During CEDEM, talk of a local building value was less than the loan and the keys could end up being handed back, or have they already! Nothing new in that, however, to find out it was Big Fella was a surprise. Makes us all realize even the mighty make mistakes like us and nothing is a guaranteed success.

This week I am in the CIJ London office and will be catching up on deals and steals ongoing in the capital. Till my next blog, I will leave your a quote from RE: Retribution, – Albert Wesker: “This is humanity’s last stand. The beginning of the end”.




It has been a few weeks since my last entry and much has come to my attention in this period. With visits to London, Prague, Bucharest and Warsaw, the feeling of what the market in CEE is doing, is calm. Attendance to developers presentations are running small with interest and the desire from the consultants to network at them, is equally very low, the holiday season may not be over just yet.

So what has been happening in this quiet September month?

A swindler recently started a new job after 10 months of  redundancy after being fired from his previous employment. Life goes on and the new job, counting will be very lucrative in his larceny skills, come on HR, every heard of background check. An ex-colleague of his recently said “he deserved no more than to clean the tables at McDonald’s”. I think McDonald’s have a better background check and he would not even get to the interview, never mind start work.

We are almost in the 4Q of the year and the season of decoration will start its wheels turning with its cloaked tribunal controllers. Discoveries of fraudulence in the finals last year where quickly squashed into silence so neither the Cowboys or Indians ended up with yellow paint on there suits. Legally, the final coverup ending was masterminded by one of the big five, which resulted in a few attendants leaving or being pushed out of the firm. Scruple’s or no scruple’s, the result stands and the charlatans stand high with stature in the swindle. We shall see if a broadcasting at Westminster will bring this lawless regime to its knees.

A previous weekend gathering showed the cards of constructiva demon who has for the past 5 years worked the rounds of 3 whales. He presented his credentials in a manner that suggested he deserves amnesty as he has left the mondo’s behind. The maid that he whispered his words of conviction to did not prove to be a good mule and nothing came across with intention.

Next week I will be presenting a feature long edition, so reserve time over next week.


The Dark Knight Rises

What if important trade analysis that came out of CEE from a selected group of bodies was in fact a deception of the true market numbers. What if the people that wheeled this information used words such as

above-board, authentic, bona fide, conscientious, decent, direct, equitable, ethical, fair, fair and square, forthright, frank, genuine, high-minded, honorable, impartial, ingenuous, just, law-abiding, lay it on the line, like it is, no lie, on the level, on the up and up, open, outright, plain, proper, real, reliable, reputable, scrupulous, sincere, straight, straightforward, true, true blue, trustworthy, trusty, undisguised, unfeigned, upfront, upright, veracious, virtuous, what you see is what you get

then it must be believable, right? Fact of it all is they are really pushing Propaganda: information that is designed to mislead or persuade.

I spoke with a developer last week who is also whispering the opposite. For the past few years he believed in this information and has made blunders that have been costly. So why keep stum and not expose the propaganda merchants for the world to see, hence, stopping further stumbling from growing buds.

Overwhelming desire for more that could be around the corner (gluttony) is the answer. Same old story over and over again.

On the other hand, another less scrupulous developer has loved this material, adding to it with a few high profile names by offering them forward purchase agreement (next one is yours) due-diligence and have presented it as gospel in order to convince the financier to sign off on the bread up front.

And then he did a runner with the cash. Another word for this is “Conspiracy” – collusion in plan .

With Propagandists and Conspirators overwhelming CEE’s finest, Knights with strength are needed to rise up and say it as it is to protect the industry from pitfalls such as this in order to create a stable platform to build on for the future. We don’t want to wait another 5 years to ask the same question.


The Expendables

As the month of August comes to a close, we can review it as a glimmer insight of what to expect in September. Buds of growth should of been reaching for the skies by now and Big Brother starting to look at clipping a few branches of income. Those that have planted the wrong beans will become expendable. So who do we expect to be unusable and discarded from the top ranks of CEE real estate?

For sure the Woollen will be shedding a number of individuals including Boris, Helen and Jimmy. There performance has been in question for some time and now there are less dumplings on the table, the axing has come. Loosing a few clients was the major factor and this was not the fault of the trio, rather the darling buds of May.

Java the Hut has also been cleaning house, but in a drip feed manor. Home schooling a number of his team before removing completely the carpet beneath them. Billy needs to revive his sales and jump ship as the end is coming. Silly Susan is also on the list of breakers due to be pushed from the table. Her game play has been a disguise for far 2 long and she never really convinced anyone of her position.

The financial troop have also been pushing out its staff to home schooling, leaving an empty office to run its lease out. The word representative is re-establishing itself from which it came, commission only work! With no money on the table, things look like they will be sucked back to the homeland and productivity will come from old chums and comrades.

The firing squad has changed and everything has a price on it.

Trench: Only an idiot would do this job.
Barney Ross: How much?
Trench: Like I said.


Napoleon Dynamite

Back from my admin backroom summer holidays and fresh into the reality of the real world of CEE real estate publishing, I had a few notes and calls to pick up. One note out of the ordinary was from Napoleon Dynamite’s soldier Lady Gaga. A meeting was requested in respect of reviewing 2013 expectations and endeavors. Sounds normal and uneventful, however the full story runs back 2 or more years and you will see Napoleon “Lucifer” Dynamite is rolling the dice again in the hope of stoking a fire in his game play.

Who is Napoleon Dynamite? Not to go heavy in detail, a small gimp, unseen in a crowd, with a chop that of a gob site. His ego is larger than life for all the wrong reasons. Anyway, a few years back he entered into an MD roll outside his background industry. This elevation from a bricks and mortar profession moved him into the driving seat of a major local and CEE based business. On arrival in his new chair he washed away faith between our companies and tried to replace it with threats and harassment. Our communications ended and roads closed at that moment so we would not do be sucked into his delusional and destructive world of doing business.

Back to the future, the pint-sized pit-bull has crossed our bridge and knocked directly on the front door with Gaga as his emissary. Check back soon for the full story titled “Bonfire of the Vanities” in the coming weeks, when I will give you the lowdown on how far it will all stoop and if the arsonist will be convicted by his own big brothers. (2310)

Lady Gaga

When you believe you know everything and your role is subject to knowing everything, then it would be normal to play the part of presentation when pushing Co. headlines. The importance of display in the market place today is huge, so why then has it fallen of the table edge with Gaga’s not caring?

Could it be Gargoyle’s and Gaga’s are, (a) doing something else (b) have been eliminated (c) forgot what to do, or (d) the bulletin is dead? Gargoyle’s are very connected to Gaga’s in production and distribution, so much so, they seem to have the same character. I had a meeting with both recently, from the same company, hoping to refresh our acquaintance and produce some form of partnership to fruitfulness. Alas, they where only interested in chewing my ear and poking me in the ribs with blivets. To make sense of it all, we need to look into the past, 7 years ago. Neither party needed to meet much and only communicated in a few emails and a signature, so ones own charisma was never seen.

Now we are in an age of full confrontation in getting the job done and staying in the game. I have even produced and shown ways for Gargoyle’s and Gaga’s to make a difference without using an arm or a leg. Great, must of helped? Well it should have, but at this moment, NOT. They still have not grasped or moved forward on these opportunities, which is amazing.

I managed to get some reasoning to understanding from 3rd parties on why good advice fell on deaf ears. What came out, “we are busy”. Wow, no excrement Sherlock! Ain’t we all, but what about business development? Oh, sorry, has that job been given to the dingbat who last I spoke to had his nose so far up his gluteus maximus he spoke only sewage. Way to go Batman, who thought that one up. So in the end nothing really moves forward and they are left to their own devices and mechanics.

Change needs to come and innovation embraced. Oh and yes, the big cheese needs to big brother his eye on the witching.


Drug Store Cowboy

Drugs have been around the Central European real estate industry for many years and I have listened to many happenings from the effects of substance abuse, which takes me back some time ago to an unbelievable story told to me by a pub landlord. He was once privy to the inside information of an individual who was able to order up any drug within 30 minutes of a telephone call in any European location. Hard to believe, but true, lets call this individual Malcolm.

Malcolm arrived in CEE some 10 or so years ago. He worked at one of the top real estate businesses in Prague and quickly established himself. During that era, expats ran wild in many formats of pleasure and enjoyed no restraints or disciplinary actions from their superiors, as many a deal was done in the late evenings. Malcolm in that time was many things to many people, Jester, Romeo, Bard, Peer, Escort and Fibber all rolled into one. To me, Malcolm was the 30 minute man.

One evening, Malcolm was entertaining at a local tavern with several property compatriots drinking heavy and consuming large amounts of narcotics. The party ran short of junk in the early hours of the morning with no one stepping forward to relight the somnifacient party, That is except Malcolm, who was already on the terrace calling his trafficker in London. Malcolm explained his pickle and then hung up. Approximately 30 shakes later, there came a large hammering sound on the pub door. The landlord opened the front slammer to a short fat man dressed like a Stringfellows doorman. He spoke English with a thick local accent, “The Evening Standard has been ordered by Mr. Churchill and I have this mornings addition for him”. Malcolm stepped into the door way from behind the landlord, “Insurance should be on every door”. The package was handed over and the party burst into flames again.

Malcolm is still around, but has elevated himself now to a CEE directorship. He still is burning the candle at both ends, but in quiet locations, far from the eyes of the real estate industry and with less passion. (310673)

Mission Impossible

CIJ will be 20 years young in 2014, making it the longest running publication for real estate in Central & Eastern Europe today. Not a bad history for a company that was started with back pocket money in Prague and that expanded to 5 countries.

Recently the past 18 years of publishing was running through my head in many formats and colours, I started to think I can only imagine reaching with my last breath the 21st year of existence without kicking Mr. Tarmey in the nuts to celebrate.

If I look back on the past, the 1st 5 was hard, the 2nd 5 comfortable, the 3rd 5 years was a dream of crazy success. Now, the 4th 5 almost finished have been the pit bottom, even if we had a reasonable amount of sustainability. The publishing market has changed and company heads are looking at every ounce of edge to make it work, even if it means a knife in the back to gain a euro of success. Head office demands returns and CEE bosses will make it happen as well as to fill their own pockets with riches even if it means clipping an angels wings.

The whole judgement of it all is greed. Bystanders see the battle and sit in silence while wishing to know more about the white spirit that continues. The mission is impossible as Goliath being slayed is only a story book and Little will not beat out any changes.

How can we keep going and avoiding the bombs of glut? Shoot Martha Hooker in the foot for fun and build a wall of business that leaves them at the other side of the city, out of reach. (1124)

A Night at the Borgias

This week, I was in the presence of a Minister, a Marionette and a Gargoyle who I had not seen for some time, and kind of hoped were looking for redemption since our last encounter. The fact of the matter is rather unusual to say the least. There was no forehand notice or explanation from the trio on why this meeting was taking place. Perhaps I should of inquired before agreeing, as it was not so long ago they wielded their dirks like razors and words with blight. Anyway, I believe it was an envoy, an envoy to see if there was calm in the valley and workers looking to harvest.

I was late and ran into my seating while acknowledging everyone, half expecting them to turn into Orcs and attack.  The first 10 minutes of the meeting produced swings and roundabouts, then the Marionette took the lead with a confection of self honesty that was by habit and had no time to waste. I waited for the truth to come.

Nothing came, the Marionette turned court performer and talked brief with amnesia of the past and comradery for the future, all the time while the Gargoyle poked me in the kidneys.

Cutting through to another level of swings and roundabouts was further bewildering to me as the table talk went nowhere, then as if out of nowhere, I received an atonement from the Minster. It reminded me of another Minister, who had atoned himself some years back, only to revert the consummation a few months later. This time I would not be fooled and blessed them in an absent state of mind and departed. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!

This is not the end of this chapter, rather, only the first verse.

To be continued… (989)